Severely Overcooked or Burnt Turkey in a Roasting Pan

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INGREDENT

  • 1 whole turkey (preferably forgotten in the oven for hours)
  • A roasting pan full of charred drippings
  • Lots of smoke (optional but inevitable)
  • Regret, panic, and maybe a smoke alarm

Instructions

  1. Preheat oven to way too high.
  2. Place turkey in roasting pan, then promptly get distracted for several hours.
  3. Ignore smoke alarms and strange smells until bird resembles a lump of charcoal.
  4. Present at the table with forced enthusiasm.
  5. Serve with takeout as backup.

Do you want me to make this into a funny “failed recipe card” style (like a parody), or keep it serious as in a kitchen disaster recovery guide (what to do if the turkey really burns)?

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